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Cheaters can change and become faithful but it will all depend…
If you have been cheated on, you’ll now know feelings you never thought possible. You will have felt at one time or another, or perhaps still are feeling…
- Deep betrayal, hatred and anguish
- Pain in your chest from a shattered heart
- Isolation and deep despair
- Hatred when you see happy couples around you
- A deep mistrust of the world and everything in it
- A sense of being broken
You no longer understand people, the world, anything in it, and have lost your sense of purpose.
The world is now different and you feel like you will never be the same person you once were.
There is only one possible small glimmer of light deep down, somewhere inside of you…
Potentially the cheater can change
Keep that small amount of light alive because yes… cheaters can change.
As human beings, we change all the time. We are constantly evolving. Think back in your own life and appreciate all the values and beliefs you have changed over time, both small and big. To be able to accept change and evolve is human and we are all capable of it.
The cheaters ability to change
I’ve counselled many people over the decades who have cheated on their partners, but who now wouldn’t dream of cheating. Their reasons for the cheating in the first place are wide and varied, and in most cases have nothing to do with what they felt, or didn’t feel for their partners.
In most of my experiences, the cheating was about something within the cheater that wasn’t right, some sort of emotional pain or psychological unfinished business that brought them to the act of cheating.
Mostly, they loved their partners, probably more then they loved themselves and that was the problem.
People who cheat are usually not in the control seat you think they are. Most of them didn’t start out with an intention to cheat. Some did but most didn’t. Most didn’t even understand why they engaged in the cheating in the first place. Most declared strong love for their partner, and most are devastated over what they have done and the pain they have caused.
If your partner has cheated and you want them to change and be faithful…
Uncovering the true reasons and a prevention relapse plan will be hard to achieve on your own. Call a Therapy Lounge on-call therapist who’ll be able to help both of you:
- Make sense of what’s happened, or is still happening
- Have faith that things can be different
- Find a place to heal the hurt in order to help regain at least some trust
- Figure out the true underlying reasons for the cheating
- Establish a re-lapse prevention plan so the cheating doesn’t occur again in the future