There are many things you can work on in order to stop yourself from cheating; here’s where to start….
- Are you feeling the strain of making sure your phone messages, calls or emails stay secret?
- Perhaps you’re over squirrelling away money, or lying about where you’ve been or why you’re home so late?
- Is shame or guilt eroding your happiness, causing you stress, and you feel you’ve become someone you never really wanted to be?
You can live with these feelings and thoughts for a period of time, but you’re probably now at a point when you sense that you can’t go on this way forever.
If you’ve been cheating in your relationship, you’ve now reached a point where you’re seeking info on how you can stop yourself from cheating.
The cheating won’t stop all on its own. The first thing you’ll need to do is to go through the process of figuring out why the cheating started in the first place and what keeps driving it.
Human beings usually don’t do things without an initial reason or motivation, a payoff of some kind. The payoff may not be known, on a conscious level but it is usually either to avoid pain or for some sort of emotional, psychological or physical gain.
See our article entitled, Why do I keep cheating in relationships? and consider the 13 potential driving forces for why you may be cheating in your relationship. You may be experiencing one of the 13, or many, all interweaving together to keep the habit in place.
Once you’ve discovered the cause, you can work towards making peace with the issue so you can go onto be the person you want to be, living in accordance with values that make you happy and proud to be you.
If you’re trying to stop yourself from cheating, remember that you will have to have the motivation to make the change. The desire to stop will need to be stronger than the payoff you’re currently receiving. Focus on the negative and unwanted feelings that the cheating causes you, and what this may mean for your partner should the cheating be discovered.
If you’re having trouble uncovering the true cause of the cheating, call Therapy Lounge now on 1300 555 118. We’ll be able to use skilled questioning to help you free up thinking in order to unearth what’s driving the cheating. Our fully trained therapists will then be able to offer you strategies to help you change the cheating and restore your relationship.