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There are things you can do to help you resist cheating impulses; here’s where to start…
- Have you tried to resist the cheating and found it harder than you thought it would be?
- Are you getting tired of the relentless pull of the temptation and the battle to resist?
- Have you already spent many hours over the mental anguish and the continual internal debate that repeats over and over in your mind?
You may be at the start of your journey of resisting the temptation or it may be something you’ve been battling with for many years. The struggle to resist the cheating creates a multitude of negative feelings, as does the cheating itself.
You know that if you’re not successful in resisting the cheating, you’ll have to endure the feelings of guilt, shame and perhaps fear of getting caught. And so, the turmoil goes on…
So, how do you successfully resist the cheating?
Firstly, it’s a question of: a) do you want short term relief, or b) do you want permanent relief from the urge to cheat?
If you want short term relief, you would be looking at solutions with limited success such as:
- restricting your available access to potential partners
- enlisting a friend to help you be accountable for your resources (time and money)
- using techniques to distract your attention (stay busy at work, increase sports and other interest)
- spend more time with your partner which will naturally limit your time away from the relationship, and so on
If you want long term success, these strategies are not going to give you the outcome you want.
If you are after long term resistance from the cheating, you’ll need to uncover what the driving force behind the cheating is.
Imagine your doctor trying to fix your physical woes without ever uncovering what caused them. You’ll more than likely be prescribed a topical remedy that will work in the short term.
But if you want to get rid of the condition permanently, you’ll need to work with your professional to help them establish what the underlying cause is.
It’s only then, that the correct treatment can be administered for long lasting results.
Your psychological state is no different. The best pathway forward, if you want to resist the cheating, is to uncover what caused the cheating in the first place, and what was happening for you that made the cheating a more attractive option than other available options.
See our article entitled Why do I keep cheating in relationships? . Work through the known driving factors and see if you can establish why you started cheating in the first place.
Resisting the cheating can be hard to do on your own…
You have limited resources and don’t necessarily know the hard questions you need to ask yourself. Your thinking is limited to the information you have right now and you don’t have access to a range of research that may offer some guidance.
If you are having trouble resisting your cheating, give Therapy Lounge a call now. Your university trained therapist will be able to walk beside you, without judgement to help you figure out all the facts, so you can then go on to live the life you actually want.