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If you’re thinking that you don’t feel good enough or as good as others, there are things you can do to turn this feeling around.
Are you feeling inferior to other people? Feeling like life is often hard and unenjoyable?
Are you thinking, “what’s the point anyway because nobody is ever going to see me as valuable”?
Are you over the struggle and sick of feeling this way?
If you don’t feel good enough, you are owning an I’m not good enough story and many of us have one.
On some days your I’m not good enough story may just be a whisper that you can overlook if you try hard enough. However, on other days, it screams at an unbearable pitch that you find impossible to ignore.
Your story either developed from the type of childhood you had or from negative, hurtful or traumatic experiences you encountered in your adult life. None-the-less, your story about yourself is a result of the outside world, messages you received from others.
Here’s what to do when you don’t feel good enough…
You received these messages from others, they are not originally your own making. You simply received them and then integrated them into your thinking.
So now, every time you notice one of these messages come up, ask yourself…
Is this thought helpful or not helpful to my wellbeing?
The answer will usually be that the thought is not helpful. If it’s a helpful thought, of course keep it. But if it’s not helpful, the next step is to acknowledge the thought but let it pass on by.
You can’t stop new thoughts from coming or stop unwanted ones from returning, but you can choose to pay attention to them or not. The more attention you give your unhelpful thoughts, the more power they will have. The more power they have, the more you will believe them. Then it becomes a slippery spiral downwards, making it harder and harder for you to dig your way out of.
The key is to acknowledge the arrival of your thoughts and to understand that the negative ones are not helpful to your life. Over time, you can then learn to release them as quickly as they arrived.
When you don’t feel good enough, remember…
- That all new skills take time to master.
- Learning to let unhelpful thoughts go is no different than learning any other new skill.
- Be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion when you find integrating the new skill difficult.
- Practice as often as you can. The more you practice, the easier it will become.
- If you need to, get a professional therapist involved who can help you get and stay on the road.
- Don’t give up when you think it’s not working. You got this!