Constant Fighting In A Relationship

Are you constantly fighting in your relationship? Have you set your boundaries?

Hey there. So, you feel like you and your partner are arguing a lot. Or certainly arguing more than you like to. Or more than you think is reasonable and tolerable. It can be really, really painful and usually we get to the point that if it goes on too long, we start to think: Is this the relationship that I really want to be in? Or should I perhaps look at going to find somebody that I am not going to argue so much with? But, if that’s the way you’re feeling, before you go down that rabbit hole too far, I’m Terri O’Reilly from Therapy Lounge. And I’ve been helping couples navigate these types of issues for over a decade now.

And what I can tell is this, before you think about throwing things away or before the pain gets too much to bear, have a look at your boundaries. It might very well be what’s causing some of the issue. So by boundaries I mean, as a couple you will have three boundaries that you need to maintain. The first one is yours, so that’s the rules that refers to the values that you want to live by and the rules that you have to manage your own life. And those need to be put in place in the first place, they need to be looked at to make sure they’re healthy and fair and reasonable. And then you need to work towards keeping them maintained. In a healthy relationship, your partner will also do the same. He or she will have their own boundaries that they need to maintain. But the third one, that can often be really important, it can often cause issues is the third party entity that can sometimes come from the outside. And if it violates the couple boundary, it will come in to the couple and erode some of the stuff, the great stuff that’s going on within the couple. So, by that I mean by third party entities, I mean things like: siblings that want too much time from one of you, I mean parent’s single can create issues like that. But it can also be things like, commitments from work, sporting things, general other commitments that we might have or that you and your partner will have that will come from the outside and create problem within the relationship.

So, have a look at your boundaries, have a look at whether you think that could be something that you guys are experiencing and head to the website: and I’m Terri O’Reilly and I’ll talk to you next time. Bye!

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