If you’re searching for a healthy relationship there are some easy things you can do that will guarantee you a get one.
What makes some couples bask in mostly blissful existence while others experience years of bickering and struggle? If you’re searching for a healthy relationship, there are 5 things you can follow to get you the relationship you want.
The five themes of a healthy relationship
If both you and your partner can stick to these, you’re likely to be able to experience all the fulfilment and joy healthy relationships bring:
1. Truth is subjective
Both you and your partner need to believe that ‘truth’ is subjective. It is a judgement and you will both judge each situation and event differently. Healthy couples don’t believe their position is a fact. They believe that it’s just the way they see things and that their partner’s viewpoint is just as real and important.
Healthy couples still disagree on various things but they understand that there can be two truths and that theirs doesn’t take precedent over their partner’s. Each accepts the other person’s point of view with respect, and one does not consistently try and change the partner’s point of view, but aims for listening and understanding.
2. Healthy couples trust
If you want a healthy relationship you will know that your partner is your friend. You believe that your partner can be trusted, has your best interests at heart and is never the enemy. You feel safe to be able to openly share your fears, failures and weaknesses. You know that your partner is genuinely interested in helping and protecting you. You trust your partner with everything that’s in your heart because you know that he/she won’t want to break it.
3. Healthy relationships have healthy communication
Healthy couples are able to deal with conflict without shutting down, running away, being insulting or becoming defensive. To have a healthy relationship, you are confident that you have the skills to either resolve the conflict or to let the issue go. You understand that not all conflict is resolvable but you actively engage in healthy negotiation and discussion in order to reach a compromise.
4. Healthy couples know there’s a bigger picture
Research indicates that healthy couples often share a belief in something larger than themselves. They think ‘collective’ rather than ‘individualistic’. This may include a shared belief in religious, spiritual, community, social, political or family interests – something that the couple works toward and participates in together. People in healthy relationships believe that they have something to offer their community or can make the world a better place. They are not focused on their own individual needs or overly focused on the needs of the couple. They believe that something outside of these is more important.
5. Know when to put your needs aside
If you’re striving for a healthy relationship you’ll know when it’s time to get your own needs met but you’ll also know when it’s the right time to put your needs on the back-burner. You’ll be happy to let your needs go for the sake of your partner’s needs or for the benefit of the relationship, and you’ll do it happily because you care about your partner. You’ll also know that when the time is right, they will do the same for you.
If you’re struggling to find a healthy relationship balance
If you’re not currently living by these 5 themes, you may find them initially difficult to implement and maintain. You might only need a question answered here and there to keep you on the right track. If so, calling Therapy Lounge will help.