What’s Wrong With My Relationship
If you’re asking yourself, what’s wrong with my relationship? Read on, the answer might not be what you think.
If you’re feeling like your relationship is not bringing you the joy you think it should, or once did, you’ll be feeling lost for answers, uncertain about what’s happening and maybe even deep concern for what the future might bring.
These concerns are probably leaving you feeling a range of things from:
- Feeling insecure
- Potentially distrustful of your partner as you wonder what’s going on under the surface
- Angry or resentful that your partner, or the relationship is shaking your foundations of happiness
- Wondering why you don’t get on like you both used to, or that you’d like to
- Tired from the emotional drag and exhausted from processing thoughts about what’s happening
So, is there something wrong with the relationship and how will you get the answers you need?
The first thing you need to do is to conduct a relationship stocktake.
You may be looking at the relationship as the cause of issues and you won’t know the answer to this unless you try and clearly see the relationship in its own right. You may want to consider how both of your personal traits interact with each other’s to determine if something is wrong in the relationship itself.
Secondly, do a stocktake of your partner’s traits.
Try and put any bias aside and critically analyse what your partner brings to the table. Are his/her traits in alignment with yours, do they add pleasure to your life and make you are better version of yourself?
Finally, do a stock of your own benefits and costs to finally assess what’s wrong in your relationship.
Critically analyse if you are bringing something to the relationship table that is causing conflict. Check your own emotional and psychological health to see if you need to make changes in your life to increase your own happiness.
Sometimes we blame others or the relationship, when in fact we could do things differently, or think about things differently, in order to improve things. We’re all human and it’s hard to look at our own stuff. It’s so much easier to look at other people as the cause.
I’ve counselled many people in therapy, who have discovered through their journey, that it was internal unrest that was the driving force in their relationship dissatisfaction.
Remember that you bring yourself into any relationship. If you are feeling internally complete and content in your life, you will bring this to your relationship. But if you are discontent, dissatisfied, unfulfilled and unhappy, this will also present in your relationship. In these cases, we can often blame our partner or the relationship, when in fact it is something that is within our own control and only we hold the key in solving things.
If after a worthwhile journey of analysis, you still can’t uncover what’s wrong with you relationship, now’s the time to enlist the help of a professional.