If your divorce has turned nasty, don’t struggle with it, here’s what you can do instead.
Are you going through a divorce and feel that it’s turned nastier than you’d like, or can cope with?
Is the other party causing you excruciating pain and you’re finding it hard to manage the repeating thoughts going around and around in your mind?
Some divorces transition with minimal discomfort but others can be agonising.
If your soon to be ex is making things more difficult than they should be, it’s likely you are finding that the pain, frustration and uncertainty is debilitating. Just functioning in everyday life, and still needing to perform at work and in other areas of your life, can seem impossible at times.
Before you let the actions of your ex-partner put you into a spiral, there are things you can do to make things more tolerable.
Here’s what will help you survive your nasty divorce
Know that friends and family won’t be able to offer much worthwhile advice, unless they can read your ex’s mind. All people and all situations are different and how can anyone know exactly what your ex is thinking and intends to do in the future?
Instead, your best line of defence is to calm and strengthen yourself. You’ve been beaten down, but try to restore as much power within yourself as you possibly can. You’ll need every bit of strength you can muster for the battle ahead. Work on imaging yourself as the powerful person you were once, or can be. Find peace and harmony in your life, in as many areas as you can.
If you feel calm, content and strong, you’ll be in a much better position to:
- Manage stress and anxiety more effectively
- Think rationally and see things with less emotion and more clarity
- Critically think through and analyse problems that will come up
- Process out solutions more easily
- Be creative in your thinking and problem solving to come up with solutions you didn’t know you had
- Manage other parts of your life with greater ease
- Have hope that this will eventually pass and that life will be good again in the future
- Enjoy day to day living more
- Achieve better communication and negotiation with your ex. An aura of calm can be infectious. It will hopefully help lower your ex’s thirst to go to war with you.
You don’t have a magic wand that will change the situation but you do have control over how you think, feel and react. If you have a nasty ex, you becoming stressed, anxious or nasty is not going to help but it will make your days seem miserable.
Don’t give your ex your power and happiness. Keep them for yourself. Commit to living every day, until this all passes, with joy, calm and happiness. If you can’t, don’t dwell in the discomfort. Seek outside help. See how Therapy Lounge can support you.