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If you’ve been hurt by your partner’s cheating, here’s how therapy can help…
You’ve found out that your partner has been cheating. Is it with the same person or have they cheated on you with multiple partners?
Is it the first time you know of, or has your partner been guilty of this before? Has it been going on for a short time or over many years?
Maybe you have some of these answers or maybe you don’t know anywhere near as much as you need to. No matter which situation you are in, the cheating means you are now familiar with a depth of pain you never thought possible.
You’re feeling devastated and helpless. Your heart has been broken beyond belief. The entire world as you knew it has now changed. You wake up some days wondering if this can actually be happening. You find it hard to cope with the pain and strain of uncertainty about what the future will be like.
Getting therapy for the infidelity won’t be able to change the past but it certainly will help you change the present and the future.
Your professional therapist will support you while you walk the journey of discovery to find answers to some of the questions you have about why things happened.
But more importantly, a professional therapist will be able to help you:
- Manage your overwhelming thoughts and feelings in the present so you can function, at least enough, to get by and carry on in your day to day living.
- Deal with the hurt and feelings of rejection so you can start to feel emotionally stronger and better about yourself.
- Gain some understanding of your partner. You now feel that you now don’t know them at all
- Reconnect with what was good about the relationship before you found out about the cheating. This will help you figure out where you want to go from now.
- Establish an action plan that centres on what you really want deep down in your heart. You’ll be able to see things with better clarity without the hurt and anger blurring your vision and decision making.
- Execute your action plan… your road out of the quick sand.
Therapy for cheating, attending alone or with your partner.
The therapy journey might begin with you attending alone so you can tell your own story about the cheating. Your unfaithful partner may then join the process at a later point.
On the other hand, if your partner is willing, you can both attend together from the very start. There are many ways to do this and your own situation and feelings are unique. Generally however, if your partner will attend with you, it will indicate his/her commitment to the process. This way you can both start on the healing road together sooner rather than later.