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Therapy for Separation and Divorce; when you need to help your grieving partner to get through it
If you’re initiating a separation or divorce and your partner doesn’t want the same thing, here’s how therapy can help you both.
If you are resolved that you want either a separation or divorce from your partner and he/she doesn’t want it to happen, you’ll be feeling a range of strong emotions like:
- Guilt that you are causing someone important to you this level of pain
- Shame that you are ending something you said you would never end
- Concern over their state of mind and what they might do
- Worried about what they might say to your family, friends or children
- Nervous about whether or not they will move on and be OK during and after the process
- Heavy responsibility for all that will change in both of your lives
These feelings aside, if you’ve made your mind up to go down this road to the end, you’ll need to make the best of the situation and forge ahead.
Here’s where therapy for separation and divorce can help you.
It’s hard to think consistently clear, about your path forward when you have all of these emotions in play. Some days the emotions trickle in like a gentle stream and you still feel guilt, but it’s manageable and you stay happy with your decision. But on other days, it’s like a tsunami, you buckle under the strain of your emotions and start to second guess yourself.
In this instance therapy can help you:
- Process your thinking right out to a stronger resolution so you can move forward and be confident in what you are about to do
- Perhaps consider the thought that trying to save things one more time, with the help of a professional, may be worth the effort
- Alleviate difficult thoughts and emotions, particularly those of guilt and shame (these are difficult to live with on a day to day basis and still carry on and function in life)
- Get a better understanding of what life will really look like after it’s all done and dusted
- Gain a better understanding of exactly what your partner is going through
- Learn tools that will help you better support your partner through the grief and out the other side
- Explore the roles that any other third-party people, who may be involved in the break-up, might play in terms of your decision making (ie other romantic partners)
- Understand how to best support children if you have them
- See practicalities with clarity (living arrangements, childcare, best consider all the options and risks)
- Perhaps consider what you partner will do next
Here’s where therapy for separation and divorce can help your partner.
You’ve heard the saying right?… Talk till you’re blue in the face. Well if you haven’t it yet, it means that you can talk as much or as long as you want, but your partner won’t be able to hear your message. He/she doesn’t want the same thing as you do (ie the separation or divorce) so it’s human nature not to want to hear the message you are trying to deliver; the push back will be strong.
Attending therapy with your partner may help them:
- To be able to hear clearly what you are trying to say
- Feel more secure in their own life and try to develop meaning and purpose after you have gone
- Manage their feelings of grief and loss
- See their own strengths and what they have to offer the world
- Manage the emotions that any children involved will have
- To still feel attractive and wanted by others
- Connect with supports that will help them through what’s about to happen (or happening)
- To see their future with positivity even though you are not going to be in it
- Feel like they are empowered, that they will be OK, they can write a new destiny for themselves
It’s a win/win for all. See how Therapy Lounge can help you.