Have you found out that your partner wants a separation or divorce and you don’t want it? Here’s how therapy can help you.
Are you feeling devastated by the thought of a separation or divorce? Are you feeling helpless and powerless because you don’t want it, yet your partner seems to have made up his or her mind?
Out of all of your life experiences, this one is likely to be the most frustrating, confusing and painful. In fact, you’ll now know pain you never thought was possible. The worst thing of all is that, you’re enduring all of this and still have to focus and get by with everyday tasks.
Keeping any sort of focus is the hardest thing, as thoughts keep repeating over and over in your mind…
- What should I do?
- What will life become in the future?
- How will I manage?
- Will I be OK?
Here’s how therapy for separation or divorce can help you
Your university trained therapist will help you determine if the relationship is still salvageable. There may be factors you haven’t considered, or haven’t considered possible. If you can establish with your therapist, exactly what happened, there may be ways of turning things around.
If things aren’t saveable, therapy for separation and divorce will help you to be able to:
- Fully understand what happened in the past which has caused this to happen. A greater sense of peace often comes with better understanding.
- Perhaps look at ways of stopping the same things from happening again in the future.
- Heal from this negative experience. Without healing, you will likely take this scar into future relationships. Oh, and right now you’re saying that there won’t be any other future relationships but my experience is that… yes, there will be.
- Implement some strategies so you can feel better about having to function in day to day life, until the storm passes.
- See that there may be pain right now but that the future might not be as grim as what you think.
- Process practical action steps that will help move things forward (ie how to tell children, sort out living arrangements, when things should happen, and how to have a workable relationship with your ex after it’s all done and dusted.
- Plan for the future and figure out what you want life to look like and how to get the life you want.
- Feel better about yourself – you are not defective or broken because someone wants a separation or divorce. You can’t control your partner’s feelings or choices but you can control and choose, your own. It’s hard to feel better about yourself and get rid of unwanted self-images on your own because you only have the limited internal thoughts about yourself, that are already implanted. A qualified therapist can help you see another side of yourself… a side that’s worthy and has a lot to offer the world and people around you.
Your pain is real and it’s devastating. But if you can’t turn the trajectory around, you deserve better than to sit in this place and feel miserable and helpful. You can take charge by talking to a therapist now.